is wine microwaveable?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
