you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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