he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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