Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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