Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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