I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
