So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
