M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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