literally had 100 drinks last night.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize