I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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