please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
