three words: i give head
three words: not that well
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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