I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
