he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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