girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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