So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
