i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
