So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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