called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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