like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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