he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize