btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
