She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
