apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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