so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
