See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize