i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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