she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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