Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just high enough for therapy.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
