Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
