Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
birth control should be required to get into college
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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