i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
