He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
