just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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