umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
