I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
