in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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