Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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