she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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