I wish I could teleport
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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