It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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