I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
