I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
