Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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