I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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