Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
