I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
