Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize