My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Randomize
