Will you blow on my dice?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
