I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
