You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
