After last night, I could never be a politician.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
