So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
