OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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