i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Randomize
