if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
