Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize