Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
