he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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