Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
