carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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