It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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