so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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