Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
